Post by JustJohn or JJ on Feb 26, 2018 9:46:19 GMT -7
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back “Revelation 3:20 ” and stuck it in the door.
The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was notation “Genesis 3:10”.
Revelation 3:20 reads: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me.”
Genesis 3:10 reads: “And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked.”
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Sunday snicker
Hillary Clinton goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel.
While she is on a tour of Jerusalem she suffers a heart attack and dies.
The undertaker tells the Americans accompanying her, “You can have her shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land for just $100”.
The Americans go into a corner to discuss for a few minutes They return with their answer to the undertaker and tell him they want Hillary shipped home.
The undertaker is puzzled and asks, ‘Why would you spend $50,000 to ship her home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100?
The American diplomats reply, ‘Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can’t take the risk.
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“Lord, I Hate Buttermilk”
A visiting Priest was attending a men’s breakfast in Ohio farm country.
He asked one of the impressive older farmers in attendance to say grace that morning. After all were seated, the older farmer began …
“Lord, I hate buttermilk.”
The Priest opened one eye and wondered to himself where this was going.
Then the farmer loudly proclaimed, “Lord, I hate lard.”
Now the Priest was overly worried. However without missing a beat, the farmer prayed on,
“And Lord, you know I don’t care much for raw white flour.”
Just as the Priest was ready to stand and stop everything, the farmer continued,
“But Lord, when you mix ‘em all together and bake ‘em up, I do love fresh biscuits.”
“So Lord, when things come up we don’t like, when life gets hard, when we just don’t understand what you are sayin’ to us, we just need to relax and wait ‘till You are done mixin’,
and probably it will be somethin’ even better than biscuits.”
Amen