When insults had class - - -

[justjohn]

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." --
Groucho Marx


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to ..Winston Churchill


Followed by Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one."
Winston Churchill


"I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Mae West


Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party,
"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"

Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"

[suzanne]

Let's not forget Dorothy Parker's remark upon being told of the death of President Calvin Coolidge (who apparently was not exactly the life of the party): "Really? How can you tell?"

[justjohn]

CATCH-22 IS A GOVERNMENT PHRASE



1 "Suppose you were an idiot."And suppose you were a member of Congress." But I repeat myself."
-- Mark Twain

2.""We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the
handle."
-- Winston Churchill

3.""A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
-- George Bernard Shaw

4.""A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money."
-- G."Gordon Liddy

5.""Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep votin’ on what to have for dinner."
-- James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

6."Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries."-- Douglas Casey,
Classmate of W."J."Clinton at Georgetown U."(1992)

7.""Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
-- P."J."O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

8."Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
-- Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

9.""Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it."If it keeps moving, regulate it."And
if it stops moving, subsidize it."
-- Ronald Reagan (1986)

10.""I don't make jokes." I just watch the government and report the
facts."
--Will Rogers

11.""If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free."
-- P."J."O'Rourke

12.""If you want government to intervene domestically, you're a liberal." If you want government to intervene overseas, you're a conservative."If you want government to intervene everywhere, you're a moderate."If you don't want government to intervene anywhere, you're non extremist."
-- Joseph Sobran, Editor of the National Review at one time (1995)

13.""In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other."
-- Voltaire (1764)

14.""Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you."
-- Pericles (430 B."C.")

15.""No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session."
-- Mark Twain (1866)

16.""Talk is cheap-except when Congress does it."
-- (You and I)

17."The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other."
-- Ronald Reagan

18.""The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings." The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery."
-- Winston Churchill

19.""The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
-- Mark Twain

20.""The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools."
-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

21.""There is no distinctly native American criminal class save Congress."
-- Mark Twain

22.""What this country needs are more unemployed politicians."
-- Edward
=============

[kaima]

European Terror Reaction - USA Resolute

Reuters, London .
11th July, 2007

Our London correspondent reports that, in light of recent terrorist threats, the British authorities have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved"

It would appear that security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated"
or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. In the meantime terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance".

The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning was during the Great Fire of 1666.

In France the French authorities also announced that it had raised its terror level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's only white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French and English that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

Elsewhere in Europe Germany has increased it's alert from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress In Uniform And Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose"

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they have to worry about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are in a high state of excitement following the deployment of their new submarine fleet. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a good view of the old Spanish navy.

Washington has announced that there will be no change to the strategy that has served the country so well over the last 100 years. A spokesperson confirmed that the guiding principles remained as "Sit on the fence until you know who is winning," followed by, "Bomb the sh*t out of everything then find out who's side they were on."

[justjohn]

Enjoyed that one Kaima !!!!

[leslie]

Kai
And in Poland the security level has been raised for the first time ever from 'normal' to 'let's just get out of here'. It's interesting that nobody has taken any notice of either of these security levels - I wonder why?
Leslie