Dutch comedian - Sinterklaas Dec 5, 2019 10:46:15 GMT -7
Post by pieter on Dec 5, 2019 10:46:15 GMT -7
I have tried to translate the stage performance of the great Dutch standup comedian Toon Hermans. He was famous and loved in the Netherlands. Either people liked him or disliked him. He was a Southern Dutch, Limburg fellow.
Toon Hermans was born in Sittard. He began performing in the 1930s, achieving local, regional and, eventually, national fame in the Netherlands as a comedian during the post-war decades. Together with Wim Sonneveld and Wim Kan he was considered one of the "Great Three" of Dutch cabaret during the 1950s and 1960s. After World War II, Sittard expanded rapidly and many new neighbourhoods were built. The coal mines in the region were the driving force of a booming economy, until closed in the 1960s and 70s. It now has large industrial zones and office premises. So Hermans grew up in a poor and hard working miners community.
The Translation of Hermans comedy show
I just give you an idea, I wasn't raised with presents. Presents? I can't remember I have ever received presents as a child.
Even in december, with Sinterklaas, I did't receive them, presents. From this man Sinter Klaas I never received anything (laughing audience - this joke contains a painful truth, Toon Hermans came from a poor family, that was the reason he didn't receive presents) Sinterklaas acted like if I didn't existed.
I consider Sinterklaas to be a grisly man. I don't like that figure Sinterklaas. I consider him to be a tedious character.
With his white horse (Schimmel). Yeah, I don't like that guy. I dislike few people, but I really dislike this man.
Sanctimonious! I don't like that guy. He is an unsympathetic individual. And his helper is also a fool.
You know that I find that helper, Black Pete, an irritating fellow. A very irritating person with his laughing.
You, know he Always stands there laughing at you. Don't you remember that?
He sings the first words of a sinterklaas song with and says: ..."hehh...idiot!". 5 december on the roof. Very cold weather, and he (Black Pete) stands laughing there.
I find them a weird couple. A silly couple. Yeah, I consider them to be a dum couple! I don't like them, neither of them.
I have never received anything from them. I put my shoe under the chimney in the evening. I was glad they were still there the next morning. (The audience bursts out in laughter)
Don't like these people. Singing those stupid songs. "Hear who knocks there on the door, children…" Nobody!
Have you also sung these silly songs?
I don't like this fellow. This whole Sinterklaas fellow. Nasty person, dishonest. There were children who had presents, the trains drove through the living room.
At my home nothing drove through the room, yes, we ourselves, I was the locomotive. (Laughing audience) With some poor baggers behind me. Thank god we were a large family,
else it had been a poor little train.
I don't like the fellow, don't let me laugh, an old chap I have to call kapoentje. I have Always considered it a dum party. You sung yourself unconcious at the heater (stove, fireplace).
With that dirty cool steam in your head.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door,
I can still see him coming in.
Such a shabby thing.
Had a bedspread on.
I knew that bedspread.
Yes, it was from the front room.
It was always on the table there.
I could see on his back where the ashtray had been.
He has never been to our house.
I told you then he came in with a bedspread ... and that ashtray on it, you know?
That is not true.
I am now older and wiser and I no longer tell those kinds of stupidities. I now tell the truth on stage. Or I won't go on it anymore.
I hate that guy so much.
He never came to us.
On scattered evening we were singing at home, with six children. But he never came in, never.
You could hear rumble in the hallway. And the door also opened. Then you thought, he finally came.
Do you know what he did?
Put the hand in the room.
You saw a white glove that flickered some nuts in the room.
My grandfather still broke his ankle over the rotten nuts. They had to take them to the hospital on scattered evening.
Then I asked my mother: Why doesn't he come in?
Then she said: He can't, jungske (young one inn the Southern Limburgian dialect).
He's so busy.
He's so busy.
Nothing from where, he sat all day long at Vroom & Dreesman (= department store).