Scatts Warsaw Insider column

[scatts]

Street Life - Oct 06

Wander the streets of this city enough you will soon realise there's a lot more going on than you thought. Alongside the young professionals, schoolchildren and mall-queens you can glimpse a less presentable but no less interesting side of city life. Here's some that I have noticed:

"The Recyclers" - Drop a waste article into a rubbish bin anywhere in town and then start your stopwatch. My guess is that less than one minute will have passed before someone has spotted and removed your treasure. These people are Warsaw's natural recycling machine, an army capable of stripping any collection of waste down to the bone. They come in three kinds. The "industrial" people have trolleys, generally made from earlier waste finds, on which they load as much of their chosen material as they can find. Most often metals, presumably for the scrap value but I've also seen them scavenging cables, gypsum board, broken ceiling tiles, timber, just about anything in quantity. The "entrepreneurs" are more choosy and will take individual items when they see an opportunity to make a buck by fixing it and selling it on. Sometimes selling it on without fixing it is also an option - see "Traders" below. The last group, the "thrifty" take items because they just can't help it. They are victims of their upbringing and quite often take things for personal use. They simply can't let something that is not complete rubbish go to waste. Even if they don't want it, there must be someone they know who would appreciate it and if not, there's always babcia!

"The Litterati" - These are the idiots who think that showering your car with wysytowka sized adverts for Lolita's Erotic Massage is going to somehow convince you to rush round there and spend some money. The amount of effort that must go into designing, printing and distributing these things is staggering. There must be millions of these slipped under windscreen wipers every day in this city. What does this tell us about how frustrated car drivers are in Warsaw. Come to think of it, when you leave Warsaw you have all those hookers by the side of the road….is there some connection between driving and sex that is peculiarly Polish?

"The Alcoholic Parkers" - "You can't drink and drive but you can drink and help people to park their cars." This is the motto of TACP, The Alcoholic Parkers Club, which provides gainful employment for upwards of 10,000 drunkards in our beautiful city. For a sizeable percentage of the legal parking fee you have already put in the meter these people are happy to stand in the road and wave their arms about, mumble something in your ear and hold their hand out. Excellent service chaps!

"The Traders" - Next time you're passing the junction of Elektoralna & Jana Pawla II take the time to browse the items displayed on the blankets laid out on the pavement. At first I thought it was a kind of specialist antique market because almost everything is old, dirty and broken. On further inspection though, I could not identify any special antique value in the doll with limbs missing, the half of what used to be a crappy hairdryer or the slightly damaged Carrefour glass ornament. What I find incredibly sad is that people actually buy this stuff.

[scatts]

November was the first one posted here, so that brings us up to date. If I remember, I'll post them here as I do them. These are all as I sent them to the magazine, no doubt they edited out spelling mistakes and tidied them up before printing.

[bescheid]

Dear Scatts

So, time has proved correct, for you are a writer {not as supposed, a photograper}. This is ok my friend, for as a writer, you are as also, sensitive to your surroundings as that of the artist.

Charles

[scatts]

I'm a hard person to categorise but I certainly feel that a career in some artistic direction would have been much more fulfilling than the one I've been following thus far. My life plan, such as it is, is to transition from being paid to be a good "Director - Building Consultancy, CEE" to being paid to be a writer, or photographer, but frankly I think I'm a much better writer. Still not good enough though.

The terrible conflict is that they pay me well and I need nearly all of it to survive, right now anyway. So making the switch is not easy, almost impossible in fact without me writing a novel and someone wanting to publish it and pay good advances in the meantime.

Anyway, we can all dream, can't we.

[bescheid]

Dear Scatts

You are an important person, please not to be distracted by my loused kraut point of view.

How well do I understand your particular situation. But, perhaps to think of this in this manner. {For what you are performing as a service, some one is pay good money for} Perhaps this is the line at the bottom, you are doing some thing that is of value.

Nothing is worth any thing, unitl you get paid for it, then it is value.

I like you Scatts.

Charles

[leslie]

Scatts
Just got back from a week with my daughter and family near High Wycombe and have read all your issues. Great!! And I'm delighted to see there is another author amongst us - there seemed to be too many paint artists mounting up!!!!
I look forward to your articles as a continuing posting - I am sure you have whetted, and satisfied, many appetites on the forum.
Cheers
Leslie

[scatts]

Thanks guys!

Well, I'm off to Krakow, train leaves in 1.5 hrs. See you all Sunday eve / Monday.

[rdywenur]

Scatts, Enjoying all your posts. Thanks so much for sharing your writings. I am looking forward to all the others. So far between your photos and posts I feel I am almost actually there in Warsaw. Now if you could just learn to beam me over........ Chris

Here in the US in Vegas we have "The Litterati" . They are on every street corner handing out these invitations to everyone. You can't seem to get away from thema nd they are annoying.

We also have here in my town and Im sure others guys with signs that say "Will work for food"

When I was in Bielski Biala I saw a lady with a child and a sign that said help for sick child. I was shocked to see that in Poland but my cousin said they are probably gypsies and not really true. I guess they are rampant all over now. I no longer give to the individual but will donate to a good cause at work. It is sad that you cannot trust anyone any longer.

[bescheid]

scats said:

I'm a hard person to categories but I certainly feel that a career in some artistic direction would have been much more fulfilling than the one I've been following thus far. My life plan, such as it is, is to transition from being paid to be a good "Director - Building Consultancy, CE" to being paid to be a writer, or photographer, but frankly I think I'm a much better writer. Still not good enough though.

The terrible conflict is that they pay me well and I need nearly all of it to survive, right now anyway. So making the switch is not easy, almost impossible in fact without me writing a novel and someone wanting to publish it and pay good advances in the meantime.

Anyway, we can all dream, can't we.

Scats

Your post provided to myself, a considerable amount of thought in concerns to your career directional change intent. Sounds as logical to me. Most things begin as a dream, this is the first in any plan, to know your direction, what you want, and how you are to achieve it. And you are doing just that I must say..

You are an excellent writer..your writing demonstrates both an emotional value, coupled with that of a mind and eye for details. With this skill, and that of your excellent skill in photography, it is just to your self with presentation, effective contacts with developed assets, annnd, luck And, being paid for your work..

Charles

[Jaga]

Scatts,

I have almost the impression that more Englishmen moved to Poland than citizens of any other nation. Why? Do you see many foreigners living in Poland?
It seems that you do not believe that you would stay in Poland for a long time, then - will you take with you your wife and children? This is a difficult decision.

[scatts]

bescheid, thanks again, you are very kind and your encouragement is most welcome. One thing I was considering as a "next step" is a kind of travel guide but not exactly a comprehensive guide, more of a "scatts eye view of XYZ". Not what I want or need to write about but might be a stepping stone and provide some income. I could combine writing and photos. I need to put something together and then see if anyone's interested in printing it.

Jaga. I don't think there are more English here than any other nationality. Quite a few Irish here nowadays, also French, Scandinavians and Spanish alongside the usual smattering of Americans and Brits. The Americans were here in force when I first arrived in late 90's but they were mostly here to make money and leave, which they did a few years later.

If schools are anything to go by, the biggest is the American school but we also have British, German, French and International European. Of all of those I'd be happiest for Zosia to attend the European one as that is what I consider myself to be and in these days, especially in her days, I think it's better than tying yourself to one nationality. www.ies-warsaw.pl/en/index.php

As for this:

It seems that you do not believe that you would stay in Poland for a long time, then - will you take with you your wife and children? This is a difficult decision.

I don't have any plans to leave Poland at all. I would be quite happy to die here (as long as I get a big plot in Powazki!). However, I need to be realistic and there is a possibility that someone might offer me a job outside of Poland that will be too good to refuse. I also think a spell living outside Poland would be good for both Marta and Zosia. Even if we did move though, I can see us returning. Marta in particular would have a problem being away from Warsaw and from her mum! We have been through the motions once before when we were, almost, moving to Brussels, but the job evaporated in the end so we didn't. It was good practice though, just in case.

[scatts]

Just bringing this up to date with November and December issues:

Ad-hoc charity - Nov 06

Continuing my theme of 'street-observations' from last month's issue and bearing in mind the charitable nature of this months Insider, I thought I might look at begging. Not myself, although every little helps, but all those people you come across in the street who want you to give them stuff, for nothing.

I suppose in some cases "for nothing" is not exactly true. They want you to give them money for the fact that; they have a leg missing, or a dirty child, or they can sit next to the same lamppost without moving for whole day, or they have cute dog, or they are able to walk up and down a line of traffic with crutches or with a little sign they made, or because they are hungry, or because they are handing out horrible trinkets or because they are gypsies with special voodoo heather, or any of another hundred good reasons.

Whatever the situation, this leaves us, the ones being asked to donate, in a tricky position. Firstly you have to wonder, are these people genuine or are they trying it on, are they part of some organized scam, is that child wearing makeup or is it sick? Is the voodoo heather farmed on 100 hectares of land surrounding the gigantic gypsy manor house in the country? You worry about whether the money you give them is actually going to help solve their problem or is it going to buy alcohol or be passed on to their "pimp". You can't help thinking of all the other times you let a zlote or two slip quietly away; the cloakroom attendant, the taxi driver, the barman, the waitress. Are these less or more deserving than the person now before you? While you're busy pondering all those things there's a little voice in your head asking whether if you do give them something you're just encouraging them and next month it will hard to move for folk who decided not to take that job in the UK but come to Warsaw and beg instead!

That's a lot to think about, especially in the time it takes the lights to change or when you're rushing to catch a tram, get to a meeting or whatever. If you're expecting me to help you make your mind up what to do, think again! I'm completely useless and most of the time it just depends on who it is, what mood I'm in and whether I have any change in my pocket. This just leaves me hoping that my random approach has managed to get at least some of my hard earned money into genuinely needy hands.

The other option, of course, is to add all those ad-hoc donations together and instead make one larger contribution to an organized charity, needy person or group. Something that, on the face of it at least, has a greater chance of making a difference. Is this a better way of doing it, I really don't know, but I do know I count myself very lucky to be on this end of the problem rather than the other.

[scatts]

Happy Christmas! - Dec 06

If I may, I'd like to start by wishing you all a very Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope 2007 turns out to be even better than your wildest dreams!

I'm glad Christmas is here. Between about the 20th December and 5th January is my favourite holiday period. The end of one year, beginning of the next is a perfect time to relax, reflect on the past year and look forward and plan for the next. I like snow too, so it really is the icing on the cake to have the whole Christmas & New Year celebration thing going on at the same time. It sounds perfect, and it almost is, but for a grumpy old man like me there would have to be just a few things that need adjustment, wouldn't there?!

Top of the hit-list is my old fishy friend the carp. It is absolutely no coincidence that the English definition of carp is - "to find fault or complain querulously or unreasonably" because that is exactly what I do about this mud-sucking monster every Christmas. I note that the dictionary does not say - "an extremely attractive fish with lots of tasty meat and no bones that is traditionally eaten at Christmas in Poland". That is because it would be a horrid lie! My theory is that this is all some huge joke played out centuries ago and it's been perpetuated ever since because nobody ever shouted "I hate this fish!". I mean, fish by all means, I love fish, but why can't it be salmon, or swordfish steaks, hell, even octopus is nice! I suppose what I really want is turkey, shaped like a fish, but turkey….with little sausages wrapped in bacon, brussel sprouts, roast potatoes, white sauce……STOP! Nostalgia attack, sorry. Bottom line - I'm afraid the carp must go.

Relatives come next. Well not actually removing them from Christmas altogether but having the ability to turn them on and off would be just great! This sounds a bit mean, because it is, and it's not the relatives, it's me. But you have to agree that the seemingly never ending "entertaining" of relatives at a time you were thinking of taking it easy and enjoying time with your family can be a bit of a pain in the neck. So change number two is to introduce a remote for the relatives, God bless 'em all!

Finally we all turn and stare at the empty place at the table "for a stranger". Which stranger? I ask. Tell me, when was the last time a stranger turned up at your place looking to share in your Christmas meal? And tell me also, if one did would you hang their coat and show them to the place at the table you have laid out for them, or would you just tell them to bugger off? Are dining tables made big enough to easily accommodate your family, all your relatives (God bless them) AND an empty place for the mysterious stranger? No they are bloody well not! So. Nice idea and all that, but let's get the plate out IF a nice enough stranger turns up shall we?

[rdywenur]

Enjoyable always Scatts. You write what we are all thinking but don't dare to admit. Did you see the movie "Click" get one of those remotes for your relatives. As far as the "stranger" becareful what you might wish for. It just might be that guy from Poland that found his way into someone's bed. I'm sure the best part of your Christmas is your daughter getting excited about Christmas and all its wonders. This is my favorite holiday...so much so I extend it all the way to little Christmas.

[jimpres]

Scatts,

I was in Warszawa yesterday, visiting IKEA at Janki. Nice weather there. But here we had fog all day. Could not see the next farmhouse.
Hope you have fun in Krakow.

Jim