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Post by rdywenur on Sept 26, 2007 7:27:30 GMT -7
Resimay Deer Sir, I waunt to apply for the reporter job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting. I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain men and all the ladies. Im lookin for a Jobb as a reporter but it musent be to complicaited I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr. Sinseerly, BRYAN nikname Beefy PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me. .. .. . .. Employer's response:..... Dear Beefy-I mean Bryan, It's OK honey, we've got spell check. You're hired. Sincerely, Jaga ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Jaga on Sept 26, 2007 8:12:12 GMT -7
Chris, thank you for posting this joke, it is so good
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Post by rdywenur on Sept 26, 2007 9:02:11 GMT -7
your welcome and another: ;D
Hymn #365
A minister was completing a Temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, 'If I Had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he Said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'
Sermon complete, he sat down.
The song leader stood very cautiously and announced
With a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song,
Let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'
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Post by hollister on Sept 27, 2007 6:20:55 GMT -7
WALK ON WATER
All of his life Ole had heard stories of an amazing family tradition.It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday.
On that day, they'd walk across the lake to the boat club for their first legal drink. So when Ole's 21st birthday came around, he and his pal Sven took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Ole stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned!
Sven just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Ole went to see his grandmother. "Grandma, it's my 21st birthday, so
why can't I walk across the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked into Ole's eyes and said, "Because, you dummy, your father, grandfather and great- grand father were born in January; you were born in July.
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Post by rdywenur on Sept 27, 2007 16:30:48 GMT -7
WHY MEN SHOULD NOT TAKE MESSAGES !!!!! ;D ;D ;D
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Post by bescheid on Sept 27, 2007 17:18:41 GMT -7
WHY MEN SHOULD NOT TAKE MESSAGES !!!!! ;D ;D ;D Again, for it is always my self that is confused??? I know this is humour and I know that I am stupid, but why do I not understand? Charles
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Post by leslie on Sept 28, 2007 1:40:10 GMT -7
Chris (Rdy...)
I'm with Charles here. What the h*** does your example of humour mean - I too am lost!
Leslie
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Post by hollister on Sept 28, 2007 2:28:45 GMT -7
WHY MEN SHOULD NOT TAKE MESSAGES !!!!! ;D ;D ;D Lets see if I can translate - the way the message should read .. "Someone from the Gynecologist Office called ... They said the Pap smear is normal ...
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Post by rdywenur on Sept 28, 2007 4:49:46 GMT -7
Holly......yes you got it now. ;D ;D ;D ;D (ahemmmm...and the boys still didn't get it, so do not let them take your messages)
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Post by kaima on Sept 28, 2007 7:37:11 GMT -7
[/IMG] WHY MEN SHOULD NOT TAKE MESSAGES !!!!! ;D ;D ;D[/quote] Again, for it is always my self that is confused??? I know this is humour and I know that I am stupid, but why do I not understand? Charles[/quote] Charles, You are a man, therefore you need a 6 pack of Pabst beer under the belt to understand! Yes, the other answers have explained it more thoroughly, but the Pabst (or quality substitute) is a lot more fun! ON SECOND THOUGHT maybe it is the Ladies who need the Pabst 6 Pack to understand!! ;D Dry Kai PS 'Dry' means 'non-drinker' or 'not drunk'
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Post by bescheid on Sept 28, 2007 7:54:48 GMT -7
Again, for it is always my self that is confused??? I know this is humour and I know that I am stupid, but why do I not understand? Charles Charles, You are a man, therefore you need a 6 pack of Pabst beer under the belt to understand! Yes, the other answers have explained it more thoroughly, but the Pabst (or quality substitute) is a lot more fun! ON SECOND THOUGHT maybe it is the Ladies who need the Pabst 6 Pack to understand!! ;D Dry Kai PS 'Dry' means 'non-drinker' or 'not drunk' Ok, I understand now. The man of the house should never be allowed to take telephone messages for he will forget as he has been drinking beer! Thank you Kai for your patence. I think it has been the week of a bad moon or I have mistakenly irritated a hex.... Charles
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Post by bescheid on Sept 28, 2007 9:24:11 GMT -7
Lets see if I can translate - the way the message should read .. "Someone from the Gynecologist Office called ... They said the Pap smear is normal ... [/quote] Ok, I understand this and it is Good News Thank you with the up-date.... {Now is that really what the note is?} Charles
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Post by rdywenur on Sept 28, 2007 13:28:40 GMT -7
Kai if I packed a 6 pak under my belt I would not care what the heck the message said. (until I recovered) ;D ;D ;D sad but true
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Post by kaima on Sept 29, 2007 0:14:23 GMT -7
The woman of the house was unhappy with her car and complained Die Frau des Hauses war unzufrieden mit ihrem Auto und beklagte to her husband "For my birthday buy me a surprise, one that will sich darüber bei ihrem Mann: "Kauf mir doch bitte zu meinem accelerate from 0 to 60 in four seconds or less", she asked. Geburtstag eine Überraschung, welche in 4 Sekunden oder weniger von 0 auf 100 beschleunigt", bat sie ihn. "Preferably in blue!" "Am liebsten in blau!" Her excitement mounted as her birthday got closer ... Voller Erwartung rückte der Geburtstag näher und sie öffnete ihr and then she opened the gift wrapping ... Geschenkpaket ... Rumor has it that her husband did not survive. Gerüchten zufolge hat der Mann nicht überlebt! (see below)
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Post by bescheid on Sept 29, 2007 10:45:36 GMT -7
The woman of the house was unhappy with her car and complained Die Frau des Hauses war unzufrieden mit ihrem Auto und beklagte to her husband "For my birthday buy me a surprise, one that will sich darüber bei ihrem Mann: "Kauf mir doch bitte zu meinem accelerate from 0 to 60 in four seconds or less", she asked. Geburtstag eine Überraschung, welche in 4 Sekunden oder weniger von 0 auf 100 beschleunigt", bat sie ihn. "Preferably in blue!" "Am liebsten in blau!" Her excitement mounted as her birthday got closer ... Voller Erwartung rückte der Geburtstag näher und sie öffnete ihr and then she opened the gift wrapping ... Geschenkpaket ... Rumor has it that her husband did not survive. Gerüchten zufolge hat der Mann nicht überlebt! (see below) Haaa. Das war der dumme Mann erlernt nie lustig, daß seins Lektion für jetzt ihn tot ist. Charles
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