Jokes, Jokes and more Jokes.

[jimpres]

Chris,

JPII must be smiling about now, cus I am. good one.

[rdywenur]

Subject: HOW TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP


>>>
>> Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the
>> church's morals, kept sticking her nose in to other people's
>> business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular
>> activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She
>> made a mistake, however, when she accused Ray, a new member, of
>> being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of
>> the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Ray (and
>> several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he
>> was doing. Ray, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and
>> just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny...
>> He said nothing. Later that evening, Ray quietly parked his pickup
>> in front of Mildred's house... Walked home.... And left it there
>> all night !!!
>> You gotta love Ray!
>>

[hollister]

A blonde goes to the Emergency Room…

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
“How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her.
“Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied.
“What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?”
“No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants,
I’m not shooting myself in the chest.”
“So then?” asked the doctor.
“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in
the mouth.”
“So then?”
“Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I
pulled the trigger.”