Irish - English - Scottish

[justjohn]

;D ;D


Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."

[Mary]

That was good!

Now for the next holiday...In Honor of the Easter Bunny:::

...........................................................................................



One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped
Over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose.


'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I didn't mean to trip over you,
But I'm blind and can't see.'



'That's perfectly all right,' replied the snake. 'To be sure, it was my
Fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see
You coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?'



'Well, I really don't know,' said the bunny. 'I'm blind, and I've never
Seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.'



So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, 'Well, you're soft,
And cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a
Dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!'



The bunny said, 'I can't thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of
Animal are you?'


The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny agreed to
Examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, 'Well,
What kind of an animal am I?'



The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, 'You're cold,
You're slippery, and you haven't got any balls...You must be a POLITICIAN



Need I say any more............Have a great day now, OK.

[hollister]

Hamish and Dougal are sitting in the pub discussing Hamish’s forthcoming wedding.
“Ach, it’s all going grand,” says Hamish. “I’ve got everything organized already: the
flowers, the
church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night.”
Dougal nods approvingly.
“Heavens, I’ve even bought a kilt to be married in!” continues Hamish.
“A kilt?” exclaims Dougal. “That’s braw, you’ll look pure smart in that. And what’s the
tartan?”
“Och,” says Hamish, “I imagine she’ll be in
white.”