INFREQUENTLY

[JustJohn or JJ]

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical $exual relationship.

'How do you feel about $ex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, leaned over towards her and whispered –


"Is that one word or two"

[kaima]

Troubles with immigrants existed throughout American history, starting with the first undocumented Hispanics from Europe, Columbus, Desoto, etc. Then came the immigrants from Central Europe, and the troubles continued. Here is one of those stories.

Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food.
No other humans had been seen for days, and then the pioneers saw an old Jew sitting beneath a tree.

"Is there some place ahead where we can get food?"
"Vell, I tink so," the old man said, "but I wouldn't go up dat hill und down de udder side. Somevun tole me you'd run into a big bacon tree."

"A bacon tree?" asked the wagon train leader.
"Yah, a bacon tree. Vould I lie? Trust me. I vouldn't go dere."
The leader goes back and tells his people what the old Jew said.
"So why did he say not to go there?" a person asked Other pioneers said, "Oh, you know those Jews - they have a thing about pork."

So the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side.

Suddenly, Indians attack them from everywhere and massacre all except the leader who manages to escape and get back to the old Jew Near dead, the man shouts, "You fool! You sent us to our deaths!
We followed your route, but there was no bacon tree, just hundreds of Indians who killed everyone! ... but The old man holds up his hand and says, "Vait a minute."
He quickly picks up an English-Yiddish dictionary and begins thumbing through it "Oy, I made such ah big mishtake! It vuzn't a bacon tree..."It vuz a ham bush."



TRANSLATION:

"Vait a minute."
He quickly picks up an English-Yiddish dictionary and begins thumbing through it "Oy, I made such ah big mistake! It wasn't a bacon tree..."It was an ambush."