|
Women
Jan 30, 2008 11:57:31 GMT -7
Post by valpomike on Jan 30, 2008 11:57:31 GMT -7
Two men are sitting in a boat on the lake, fishing and drinking beer. Suddenly, Bill confesses, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in nearly six months." Earl sips his beer. "You'd better think it over. Women like that are hard to find."
|
|
|
Women
Jan 30, 2008 11:58:07 GMT -7
Post by valpomike on Jan 30, 2008 11:58:07 GMT -7
BY THE TIME YOU MAKE ENDS MEET, THEY MOVE THE ENDS.
|
|
|
Women
Jan 30, 2008 12:01:31 GMT -7
Post by valpomike on Jan 30, 2008 12:01:31 GMT -7
As the owner of a new car, a husban was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prized possission, enven to the grocery store a few blacok away. She continued to ask, however, and he finally relented. "Remember," he warned her as she got behind the wheel, "If you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age."
|
|
|
Women
Jan 30, 2008 12:05:32 GMT -7
Post by valpomike on Jan 30, 2008 12:05:32 GMT -7
A State Trooper pulled over a drive who was sppeding. Hoping to get off with a warning, the drive tried to appear shocked when the trooper approached her car. "I have never been stopped like this before," she told the office. "What do they usually do, ma'am?" he asked, "Shoot the tires out?"
|
|
|
Women
Jan 30, 2008 18:05:37 GMT -7
Post by kaima on Jan 30, 2008 18:05:37 GMT -7
Then there are Polish Women ...
|
|
|
Women
Jan 30, 2008 20:34:18 GMT -7
Post by Jaga on Jan 30, 2008 20:34:18 GMT -7
How cool I love this picture. Where can I claim my Nobel Prize ?
|
|
Mary
Cosmopolitan
Posts: 934
|
Women
Jan 30, 2008 20:35:24 GMT -7
Post by Mary on Jan 30, 2008 20:35:24 GMT -7
Engineers > > > > Bubba and Ray (Tennessee mechanical engineers) were standing at the > > base of a flagpole, looking up. > > A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. > > > > We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba, 'but we > > don't have a ladder.' > > > > The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid > > the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a > > measurement, announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,' and walked away. > > > > > > Ray shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman! We ask > > for the height and she gives us the length!' > > > > Bubba and Junior are currently doing government work supervising the > > reconstruction of the New Orleans levees.....
|
|
|
Women
Jan 31, 2008 14:58:54 GMT -7
Post by kaima on Jan 31, 2008 14:58:54 GMT -7
How cool I love this picture. Where can I claim my Nobel Prize ? May you get one soon, Jaga! I originally sent a customized version to a woman friend, a Professional Engineer. She liked it so much she asked for one for a friend of hers, and I figured it was a winner ... so you received this customized version. So it seems to be a hit among professional women. Now to put in a work with Mr. Nobel! Kai
|
|
|
Women
Feb 2, 2008 2:18:57 GMT -7
Post by kaima on Feb 2, 2008 2:18:57 GMT -7
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
This particularly important reminder is appropriate right before the Super Bowl or the World Cup, depending upon which part of the world you live in.
These are our rules:
• Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! • Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that • Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. • Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be • Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. • Crying is blackmail. • Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: • Subtle hints do not work! • Strong hints do not work! • Obvious hints do not work! • JUST SAY IT! • Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for • A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days • If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one • You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done • Not both • If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials • Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we • ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. • Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. • We have no idea what mauve is. • If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. • If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle • If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear • When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really • Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as: • Sex, • Sport, or • Cars • You have enough clothes • You have too many shoes • I am in shape. Round is a shape. • Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education
|
|